search instagram arrow-down

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Categories

Archives

instagram @sophie_usa

Lifelines.
This is one of my best friends’ babies. In her hands is a custom order from someone who’s friend lost her son to suicide last week. A son who was this age once. A son who was fiercely loved and valued and squeezed tight. A son who will always be their baby. My heart cannot fathom the overwhelming grief. Our only hope? To lift our eyes to the One who is our help in every season and situation. Jesus, come quickly.
It seems the Lord is teaching me a deeper (more experiential) meaning of what Paul talks about when he describes servants of God as “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10a). • You see, there is so much good happening. So much joy, provision, and depth of community. So many doors opening. So many opportunities to minister and be ministered to. So much love and humility and grace and kindness and care that it has made me—quite literally—cry into a plate of chicken and waffles from the mercy of it all. • These scattered beams can only be explained by the Lord, who is dropping joy bombs and grace explosions all around. • But it’s not all chicken and waffles. • (Link to blog post in profile ❤️)
“All in all, it was a never-to-be forgotten summer—one of those summers which comes seldom into any life, but leave a rich heritage of beautiful memories in their going—one of those summers which, in a fortunate combination of delightful weather, delightful friends, and delightful doings, come as near to perfection as anything can come in this world.” -L.M. Montgomery

Follow me as I follow Jesus

On Dating, Guy/Girl Friendships and Marriage

datingfriendshipmarriage

Confession: I’m writing this while wrapped in a blue Snuggie. 

Lord, forgive me for all the bad thoughts I had about Snuggies before trying one.
I now realize You gave the inspiration for this 
very good gift.
Love,
Your warm
 and productive daughter, Sophie

If the above hasn’t caused me to lose all credibility with you and you’re still reading, welcome aboard my journey to authenticity.

—————————————–

I’ve written quite a bit on dating and marriage, but here’s the reality: I know nothing. Really. I can talk about singleness all day long and I’m decently confident in doing so (I mean, I’ve had 26 years of experience to speak from), and until about three months ago I had a lot to say about dating and marriage, but the fact of the matter is I have a bunch of book knowledge and no experience. Also I’ve been wondering if book knowledge equates Scriptural knowledge.

Spoiler: it doesn’t.

My sister and pastor have both told me I’ve read too much on marriage and, as a result, my expectations are whacked (my sister thinks they’re too low and says I don’t understand how fun and awesome marriage will be because I zone in on how hard and sanctifying it is, and my pastor thinks my expectations for the man are so high they will crush him). So either way I’m #winning. Ha. *cries*

Other things I’m learning (and have undeveloped thoughts about): the church culture doesn’t always do the best at equipping males and females to be friends. The tides are hopefully changing in this regard, but in general it’s my observation that we’re scared of guy/girl friendships (at least I’ve discovered I’m scared of them) because it’s easier to ensure no one’s heart is broken or virginity removed if we’re taught to fear each other instead of coming alongside and supporting one another as brothers and sisters in the same war.

“We have been warned to ‘guard hearts’ like our lives depended on it. And, I think, in many ways, this has hurt us. Why? Because we are so afraid.” Shara Lewis

—————————————–

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

While I still have lots of thoughts on marriage and dating (*shudders in fear*), I’m learning that my story (praise God) is not like Joshua Harris’s or Elisabeth Elliot’s or Eric and Leslie Ludy’s or Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth’s or Gabriel Oak and Bathsheba Everdene’s or my parent’s or my sister’s or yours or anyone else’s.

While God may or may not be writing my love story, even though my parents had me kiss dating goodbye when I was in utero, it will be just that. Mine (more specifically “ours,” bless the soul that God pairs me with). And the creative designer that is the Lord is imaginative and creative and original. There are no two stories alike.

Years have been wasted trying to make sure I do the right thing and say the right thing and read all the right things so I’ll be ready for someday. But what about trusting God for this day? For this hour? With this person? With my whole heart, regardless of what He does with it or to whom He gives it?

What a novel concept.

Here’s to embracing this season of life and the opportunities (and people) it brings. May we learn to respect and appreciate (not fear) the opposite sex, empowering them to fight valiantly, courageously, and purposefully for God’s global glory, and recognize there are no Jell-o molds for relationships.

Here’s to being brave in life, love, and in every relationship God sees fit to write into our story.

—————————————–

I have a few favorite blogs about singleness and dating, and my homeboy Marshall Segal* from DesiringGod is probably my favorite writer on the subject. Please stop reading this and go read his stuff. It’s just so good.

Also you should read these (after you read Marshall’s blogs):

The World Needs More One-Woman Men by David Mathis
(This applies to more than just men. Ladies, the world needs more one-man women. Let’s be those women.)

Best Advice for Dating Couples (VIDEO) with Jen Wilkin, J.D. Greear and Derek Rishmawy

Let’s Stop Sucking at Dating by Shara Lewis

* By “homeboy” I mean he knows nothing of my existence, but, wow, God has used his words to help cut through the grime of this cheap world’s definition of dating/relationships and propel my heart and mind into loving Jesus more. So grateful for that.

4 comments on “On Dating, Guy/Girl Friendships and Marriage

  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. It is such a good reminder for me. I think that it is important to guard your heart, but not to use it as an excuse to hide. And I have used it as an excuse for fear of hurt or pain. Lord, make me brave. Thanks for posting.

    1. Oh, Christina girl, yes. “Lord, make me brave,” has become a constant prayer of this fearful heart. Praise for growth and sanctification, even if it hurts, for we know this light momentary affliction is producing an eternal weight of glory not worthy to be compared to our current “sufferings.” Thanks for taking the time to comment–your words are such an encouragement!

Leave a Reply
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: