Personality tests are weird.
And I am intrigued by them.
When I discovered the Meyer’s-Briggs in college, my recently labeled ISFJ self wanted everyone to take it. It was fascinating and telling and nailed my personality, exposing things I didn’t realize about myself and how I was wired.
When the Enneagram came out, I was slow to get on board, discounting it as a new fad, but eventually, after the constant pleas of people to take it, I gave in and took the test. And was stunned at the accuracy.
Full disclosure: I am the twoest of the twos and it comes with a lot of internal and spiritual warfare.
Now, I am not into all the Enneagram hype. I just think it’s fascinating. I’m not, however, reading books or listening to podcasts on it, nor am I emotionally invested in discovering everything I can about each number.
I’ve witnessed personality labels equating license to sin and excuses for laziness and for not putting to death what Christ hates, as people resign themselves to say, “Ah, well, that’s just the way I am. That’s my personality for you.”
Yeah, no. No personality type is stronger than Jesus’ declaration of our identity or His command for our sanctification.
Anyway. I don’t really think about the Enneagram unless someone mentions it or a funny meme or thoughtful message comes across Instagram, however, a few months ago, I was journaling a prayer and realized it was drenched in two-isms.
So here it is, in all it’s raw selfishness and desperation, in hopes that maybe it will be an encouragement for someone else, whatever number Enneagram has labeled you.
“The biggest problem in my relationships is me.” -Paul Tripp
“Love the sinner and hate your own sin.” -Rosario Butterfield
Father, purify me.
Cleanse me from the toxic desire to be loved based on what I can do and contribute.
Rid me of my selfishness that wants to serve for love not from it.
Crucify my evil impulses that can make helping others about myself and not them or, worse, You.
Fix my gaze on the One who emptied Himself and took no account of His own needs for He knew His mission and the One who sent Him on it.
Help me believe my life is rooted and justified by Your sacrifice, not mine.
Consecrate this heart to Thee afresh today.
May Your Spirit cause strength and dependence to rise as I wait on You.
You are the reward, not feeling appreciated or needed or wanted in this life.
You are the treasure, not the ability to help.
You are my identity, not the label servant, no matter how much joy is derived from doing so.
You are the reason we have breath.
You are the hope of this heart and all those around me.
You are the limitless One who tires not and never battles identity crises when others refuse or reject Your eternal, infinite, rescuing help.
Help me see the one who stands in greatest need is me.
And you have provided the rescue.
Glory to You.
Lord, thank You for grace and mercy, even when I make serving about self.
I hate sin. And You love me anyway. Thank You for not giving up on me but carefully and tenderly exposing and uprooting that sin for Your honor and my joy. Help me not be content until it’s completely eradicated, not just pacified.
And please help me represent You well in the way You suffer long with us and endure our sin and struggles and learning—please be honored and lifted high. Please be seen as glorious as You are.
You are who we desire. My heart and flesh may fail, but You are the strength of my heart and You are my portion forever.
“How sweet the Gospel sounds to ears like mine.” -Beautiful Eulogy